Biggest Loser chit-chat.
I ALWAYS cry during the biggest loser. Often they are tears of joy, and sometime tears of sorrow. Although I don’t weigh 250 pounds, I can absolutely relate to the stories and the struggles that are told. My eating issues and my struggle with a healthy body image has held me back in so many ways. I have missed out on countless opportunities and will continue to do so unless something changes. On this weeks episode of the biggest loser, they focused a lot the issues behind the eating. The food isn’t really the issue; the issue is why we turn to food. What problems are we trying to solve with food. I haven’t figured this out completely but I have some ideas. I know that I eat when I’m feeling lonely. It gives me comfort and solves my boredom… for the moment. I also know how dangerous this is because it’s cyclical. I hate to go out when I feel like shit about myself. If I feel like a fat ass, the last thing I want to do is try things on. I know that when I’m feeling fat, nothing will look good which in turn, makes me feel bad. So what do I do? Stay home. When I’m home, I feel lonely, bored, and depressed so I eat. When does it end. I also eat to procrastinate. If I don’t want to do something, I’ll eat to occupy my time. This makes no sense but it’s true.
These past three weeks I have not attempted any diet plan, but I really haven’t followed intuitive eating either. More days than not I overate and did not listen to my hunger signals. Last night I ate to procrastinate my paper. That was not part of intuitive eating. When I came home from the library at 9:45, I ate a bowl of ice cream. Nope, not part of IE. With that said, I’m not hungry for breakfast so I’ve got nothing for you this morning.
We had planned for a run this morning but we woke to rain. Instead of going to the gym I went back to bed with the snooze on every five minutes. I need some inspiration…. and quick.