Goodies Galore

Learning to focus less on dieting and more on overall health and wellness

Biggest Loser chit-chat.

I ALWAYS cry during the biggest loser. Often they are tears of joy, and sometime tears of sorrow. Although I don’t weigh 250 pounds, I can absolutely relate to the stories and the struggles that are told. My eating issues and my struggle with a healthy body image has held me back in so many ways. I have missed out on countless opportunities and will continue to do so unless something changes. On this weeks episode of the biggest loser, they focused a lot the issues behind the eating. The food isn’t really the issue; the issue is why we turn to food. What problems are we trying to solve with food. I haven’t figured this out completely but I have some ideas. I know that I eat when I’m feeling lonely. It gives me comfort and solves my boredom… for the moment. I also know how dangerous this is because it’s cyclical.  I hate to go out when I feel like shit about myself. If I feel like a fat ass, the last thing I want to do is try things on. I know that when I’m feeling fat, nothing will look good which in turn, makes me feel bad. So what do I do? Stay home. When I’m home, I feel lonely, bored, and depressed so I eat. When does it end. I also eat to procrastinate. If I don’t want to do something, I’ll eat to occupy my time. This makes no sense but it’s true.

These past three weeks I have not attempted any diet plan, but I really haven’t followed intuitive eating either. More days than not I overate and did not listen to my hunger signals. Last night I ate to procrastinate my paper. That was not part of intuitive eating. When I came home from the library at 9:45, I ate a bowl of ice cream. Nope, not part of IE. With that said, I’m not hungry for breakfast so I’ve got nothing for you this morning.

We had planned for a run this morning but we woke to rain. Instead of going to the gym I went back to bed with the snooze on every five minutes. I need some inspiration…. and quick.

Advertisements

December 3, 2009 - Posted by | eating disorder, Food, Self Discovery

15 Comments »

  1. I highly recommend the book Life is Hard, Food is Easy by Linda Spangle. She goes through all of the reasons (boredom, procrastination, sadness) we overeat and methods to over come it. I’ve read it a few times over. I especially like how she categorizes head hunger and heart hunger (I talked about it a bit here – http://www.ilaxstudio.com/blog/2008/10/15/taking-preventative-steps/). It just seems like she really understands why some of us overeat.

    I guess what I am saying is – I can relate to all of this. I sometimes eat when I am bored or anxious. I’ve gotten better, but I have moments when I struggle.

    If you want to borrow the book, send me your address and I’ll send it your way. I don’t mean to be pushy. (Who has time to read a book though, right?!)

    Comment by kilax | December 3, 2009 | Reply

    • Youre awesome, thanks! I would LOVE to borrow the book. Do you want to borrow one of mine and we’ll have our own book club?

      Comment by lpskins | December 3, 2009 | Reply

      • Hey! That sounds like a fun plan! 🙂 Do you want to recommend one to me?

        Comment by kilax | December 4, 2009 | Reply

      • P.S. I am going to the post office tomorrow if you want to email me your address at kimilax@yahoo.com 🙂

        Comment by kilax | December 4, 2009 | Reply

        • Yeah I have some good ones. What are you looking for?

          Comment by lpskins | December 4, 2009 | Reply

  2. Lindsay, I too am going through an eating too much period in my life. If I start my day with sugar I am F’d the whole day. However if I exercise I only feel half as bad about myself.
    Be nice to yourself. This is the toughest time of year to get a grip on this issue.
    Maureen

    Comment by Maureen | December 3, 2009 | Reply

    • Exercise certainly helps.. sugar not so much. The holidays are CRAZY hard. You be nice to yourself too. 🙂

      Comment by lpskins | December 3, 2009 | Reply

  3. I enjoy reading you blogs! Coming from someone who still struggles with overeating, I can relate to alot of what u say! But the older I get, I’m trying to learn don’t be so hard on yourself.

    Comment by Anonymous | December 3, 2009 | Reply

    • Thanks for your response. It’s sooo hard not to my hard on myself when I keep repeating a self-destructive pattern. Good luck on your journey.

      Comment by lpskins | December 3, 2009 | Reply

  4. i’ve been in a cycle of overeating for 4 years now. i know i eat when i’m lonely, when i’m bored, i too eat to procrastinate, i eat when jeremy and i are not getting along, which has been the better part of the last 3 years. i isolate myself when i am in my cycle, and the cycle just goes on and on. my unhealthy relationship with food and eating has held me back too. i have never ever worn a bathing suit in front of anyone before, even during my anorexic high school and early college years, because of my distorted body issues. i cringe when my son wants to go to the beach, and end up going in jeans and a tee shirt and jeremy takes him in the water alone.

    i totally feel the things you feel, and my only source of motivation right now is my boys. i don’t want to be the “fat mom”. i want to be able to go to the water park and be involved with them without this feeling of depressed fatness.

    as bad as we may feel about ourselves at times, it is so comforting to know that there are so many of us that have and are going through this. i thank you and everyone who comments for being so open about it, because it isn’t so easy to talk about with people who can eat one cookie without feeling the need to eat them all.

    Comment by jenn graves | December 4, 2009 | Reply

    • Well said Jenn. The bathing suit thing KILLS me. I don’t do bathing suits either and I’ve passed up some damn good trips because of it. When I weighted 116 pounds I would wear a shirt in the water. If I ever have kids, they won’t know what water is. So sad.

      Sorry about the relationship issues. Have you ever thought about couples counseling,Maybe working with the interpersonal dynamics, you may find relief in the ED. Xo

      Comment by lpskins | December 4, 2009 | Reply

  5. oh we’ve spent thousands of dollars on couples therapy. our counselor is trained in emotionally focused couples therapy. we have major communicative issues. jeremy was pretty much negleted as a child, physically and emotionally, and cannot yet come to terms with it. so the majority of our issues stem from parenting the boys because of what he considers to be “normal”.

    it is a work in progress. all of it. we do the best we can with what we’ve got. i have learned to set reasonable expectations for life.

    …but, we can totally do this.

    Comment by jenn graves | December 4, 2009 | Reply

    • Ugh, sounds stressful. Sorry. It’s sucks having to be a mindreader when a partner doesn’t communicate. Marriage scares the shit out of me.

      Comment by lpskins | December 4, 2009 | Reply

      • why do you think we aren’t married 😉

        Comment by jenn graves | December 5, 2009 | Reply

        • Oops, I thought you were!! My bad!

          Comment by lpskins | December 5, 2009 | Reply


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: