Goodies Galore

Learning to focus less on dieting and more on overall health and wellness

forth times a charm?

Fat Freddy in the house. I have eaten myself into an extra-large fat suit and I feel SICK. I packed some random things today without really knowing what I’d eat. It included bread, hummus, carrots, apple and an orange. For lunch I ate bread with hummus then carrots with more hummus. I ate my orange for breakfast.

Later I hit up the bins for some crackers, a granola bar and a 100 calorie pack. Ew. Upon arriving home I ate the rest of Lens garlic bread, a pumpkin butter and almond butter sandwich, nuts and jelly beans. I am busting out the seams with sugar and fat. I often wonder why I have no sex drive and I think this explains it. Who wants to get naked after eating all that junk??!!! Not me. The good news is that I continued on the yearly tradition of starting therapy come January/February. For the last three years I’ve started with a new therapist and this year is no different. My first meeting is next Friday at 11. I have lots of talking about. First and foremost, my disordered eating. Secondly, my marriage issues. Yes, I have marriage issues. I have distorted beliefs about the institution itself to a point where I don’t really believe in it. I know, so sad. I know my fears/thoughts aren’t always rational but I blame my parents. Should be interesting. Also, since I’m training to be a therapist, I like to see different approaches to therapy.

A part of feeling like shit right now is that I haven’t worked out in forever. Where the hell did my motivation go? Erin and I are going for a run tomorrow morning so hopefully I can get on track once and for all. The whole marathon/half marathon thing is still undecided.

Sweetened nuts--right to the hips ladies.

To my upper arms.

My chin just doubled in size

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January 20, 2010 - Posted by | eating disorder, Food

10 Comments »

  1. i’m glad you’re looking for help with those things…they’re definitely not easy to just “get over”, but you’re going to make it through and be so much happier on the other side! your life is too short, so make the most of it. plus, a good workout will likely help a little. hope you have a great evening 🙂

    Comment by Heather (Heather's Dish) | January 20, 2010 | Reply

  2. I hope you like the new therapist! When you make a good connection, it helps so much.

    There is nothing wrong with you for having marriage issues. I can understand why a lot of people would.

    Comment by kilax | January 20, 2010 | Reply

  3. Lady I am with you on the marriage thing – and also blame my parents. Sometimes I think I will definitely get married, have kids, the whole deal. But then I look at my parents and see where marriage got them (divorced, remarried, still bitter & still can’t to this day have a conversation with each other) and completely lose interest. The healthiest relationship close to me, in my family, is my Aunt and her boyfriend of 34 years. Never married and if I can have at least what they have, I’ll be happy. Back when my parents were separated and then divorced, my sister and I were dragged to therapist after therapist and it’s so sad because I honestly don’t remember much of it. I suppose I blocked it all out. Anyway, a few years ago I decided I wanted to deal with the issues with my dad/the divorce, went to one session and never went back. I couldn’t even say ‘dad’ without crying my eyes out – guess I just wasn’t ready.

    Like Heather said, it’s really great that you’re being pro active and looking for help. Tomorrow is a new day and you can burn off those snacks with that run!

    Comment by Olivia | January 20, 2010 | Reply

    • Sorry! Didn’t mean to tell my entire life story on here!

      Comment by Olivia | January 20, 2010 | Reply

  4. Cool that you get to share everything with a therapist– I’ve never really gone to one, but I’ve always thought that it would be nice to give it a try. Probably very cathartic!

    Comment by Anna | January 20, 2010 | Reply

  5. I think it’s a great idea for future therapists to see a therapist themselves. A lot of my classmates went to a counselor on campus just to experience what it’s like being on the other side of the couch.

    Comment by Lily @ Lily's Health Pad | January 20, 2010 | Reply

  6. I still toss around the idea of going to medical school and becoming a psychitrist because my therapist was so helpful when I went through some shit in college. I used to disappear on them and start fresh all the time too, just stop showing up to appointments when I think I’m ok or it just gets too pricey, or when I get creeped out by all the disection of my emotions.

    Hopefully you can get a walk in at least today to get back into the swing of things! And giving Ellie some smooches helps too 😉

    Comment by LindsayRuns | January 21, 2010 | Reply

  7. haha, well I think that nuts, beans and pizza are worth it…you’ll run it off, lady!

    Comment by Whit | January 21, 2010 | Reply

  8. I am ALL for therapy. you know how I feel about that. You go girl for taking control!

    Comment by jessdownes | January 21, 2010 | Reply

  9. I have been to therapy for a year on two differenet occasions. The latest therapist was AMAZING and I learned so much about myself and now I have found a happy balance, at least where it comes to food. My emotions are a whole other story, but I am finding new outlets outside of food for those.
    I am so proud of you for dealing with the issues and realizing that there are changes to be made. But you are awesome and you cannot forget that! Congrats on being in your last semester of grad school! How was the glo bar? I really want to try one!

    Comment by Astrid | January 21, 2010 | Reply


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