forth times a charm?
Fat Freddy in the house. I have eaten myself into an extra-large fat suit and I feel SICK. I packed some random things today without really knowing what I’d eat. It included bread, hummus, carrots, apple and an orange. For lunch I ate bread with hummus then carrots with more hummus. I ate my orange for breakfast.
Later I hit up the bins for some crackers, a granola bar and a 100 calorie pack. Ew. Upon arriving home I ate the rest of Lens garlic bread, a pumpkin butter and almond butter sandwich, nuts and jelly beans. I am busting out the seams with sugar and fat. I often wonder why I have no sex drive and I think this explains it. Who wants to get naked after eating all that junk??!!! Not me. The good news is that I continued on the yearly tradition of starting therapy come January/February. For the last three years I’ve started with a new therapist and this year is no different. My first meeting is next Friday at 11. I have lots of talking about. First and foremost, my disordered eating. Secondly, my marriage issues. Yes, I have marriage issues. I have distorted beliefs about the institution itself to a point where I don’t really believe in it. I know, so sad. I know my fears/thoughts aren’t always rational but I blame my parents. Should be interesting. Also, since I’m training to be a therapist, I like to see different approaches to therapy.
A part of feeling like shit right now is that I haven’t worked out in forever. Where the hell did my motivation go? Erin and I are going for a run tomorrow morning so hopefully I can get on track once and for all. The whole marathon/half marathon thing is still undecided.