Goodies Galore

Learning to focus less on dieting and more on overall health and wellness

#3

Well I don’t have any food to show you yet  but I do have some therapy talk. Todays session revolved mostly around my relationship with different family members and with my bf. We talked about how my relationship with food has a direct impact on these emotional and intimate relationships (esp. with bf) and how I’m looking to change along with way. I talked a lot about how my bf is a free spirit and how I long to be that way too. I always have to plan, plan, plan. He can get invited anywhere, anytime and he’s always willing to participate. I am someone who always has to think through who’s going to be there, what am I going to eat, do I have to dress up and look cute. Unfortunately I say NO much more than I say yes. I hate this about myself. Mimi asked if I have anything in my closet that I feel good in and the answer is not really. She suggested I pick up two articles of clothing that make me feel pretty. The truth is, it all comes down to what I ate that day. If I’ve binged, my jeans will fit totally different (mentally) than they would had I eaten healthy for a day. It is all psychological. I cannot gain 10 pounds in one day. I know this logically. But one day makes such a difference in how I feel about myself. Imagine 14 years of this.

I know that as this process continues, I will transform and as a result my relationships will become richer. This gives me strength.

We’re going to continue with the 3 day/3 category plan.

Don’t forget to enter the giveaway.

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February 23, 2010 - Posted by | eating disorder, Family, The Boyfriend, therapy

24 Comments »

  1. Hey Girl!

    So this post totally hits home for me. My fiance is like your BF and will say yes and is basically down with any invites. Me on the other hand….well there gfs are skinnier that means cuter clothes, my acne is terrible right now they probably have perfect skin, they will notice my skin, and my “fat”, ive got nothing to wear (mind you i have more clothes than I need). I opt for NO most of the time. I just hate how life is a constant battle with food. I thnk about it all the time….should I eat this or that, I really want this or that…and when I diet it is the worst, and cant diet. There is no such thing for me. So i feel destined to be in my eyes a fat girl forever. Whats worse is my younger sister and I are the same height, and she is like 108 pounds…both 5’4 and then there is me 153 pounds….but no one ever beleives me when I say thats how much i weigh….it has to be all muscle they say bc my legs are toned and skinny….im like yeah it goes to my stomach and my face….love it. NOT!

    Anyway thanks for letting me know, I am not alone. have a wonderful day!

    Comment by Liz | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • I understand everything you just said. We judge ourselves so much and assume others see what we see. I doubt that people view us so harshly. Having confidence is so important and with that, our whole world could be different. My sis weighs 50 pounds less than me. I know all about being the fat sister. Hang in there chica!!

      Comment by lpskins | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  2. I have the same struggle with my boyfriend! He is so laid back and relaxed and can just lay there all day long, and when plans are made, he drops everything without thinking. I always need a plan and schedule and I need to know what food will be available, when we will eat, etc. It drives me nuts that after over 2 years he still doesn’t get it. Oh well, what can you do when 2 people are worlds apart? Glad your session went well. It sounds like you have a very healthy attitude about it and that you are willing to take it baby step by baby step.

    Comment by Astrid | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • My bf gets it and is wonderful about it. I really want to step out of my comfort zone and do more! Thanks about the baby steps. .. I loved the quote you posted about being able to take small steps.

      Comment by lpskins | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  3. My man is like that too. I used to try to keep up, but eventually stopped because I wasn’t happy. He’s fine with it and understands. Now when we go out, he lets me know ahead of time so I can plan. Maybe if you talk to your bf about the anxiety it causes you, he can help you out by compromising and giving you more time to plan and ease into the situation. Love these posts. Keep ‘um coming!
    *we need to hang out. On the serious.

    Comment by MelissaNibbles | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • I actually have the opposite problem. He compromises too much for me and ends up missing out on lots of social time. I WANT to be more social and need a middle ground. Ya know?
      I know, Let’s set a date now. What are your week nights like? I can do any night next week (spring break!) or next Fri night? Throw some dates out there!

      Comment by lpskins | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  4. I think guys in general are more laid back than women. My boyfriend is the same way…perfectly content with doing nothing all day, having no plans and then dropping everything at the drop of a hat when something pops up. I want to be that way, but I know it’s just not realistic to expect to change my personality completely like that. I’m glad you’re making progress with Mimi- she sounds great!

    Comment by Gabriela @ Une Vie Saine | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • Thanks Gabriela.

      Comment by lpskins | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  5. I totally understand how you feel about the psychological fight with the jeans, because the day after a binge day I will look at my stomach and depending on how not flat/bloated/un-toned it looks will depict my whole attitude and food choices for the ENTIRE day. it’s insane but it’s so hard to not do this to myself

    Comment by Brittanee | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • i hate that!

      Comment by lpskins | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  6. I have that same struggle, period. It has essentially turned me into a hermit. I tell my friends that I need at least one week notice of “impromptu happy hours” so I can plan workouts and food around being social. In the end, I usually still bail in order to stay home in the safe comfort of my home. I avoid any relationship, because I’m so ashamed of how much I let these kinds of things control me, that I don’t want to let anyone be close to me to find out.

    I would love so much to have this change about me…I look forward to reading how you develop in your fight with this.

    Comment by pen | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • thanks.. we can change together.

      Comment by lpskins | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  7. girl, i totally feel you. part of the reason i feel like such a homebody sometimes is because I just don’t feel comfortable in my skin. i WANT to dress nice for work every day (even though i don’t have to), and i WANT to look nice when we go out, but i feel like i’ll have a better time if i hide behind my clothes. it’s hard…but you’re making progress. stick with it girl, we’re all cheering for you!

    Comment by Heather | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • Exactly. I’d love to be a trendy hot bitch but feel more comfortable dressed like a bum. Thanks!

      Comment by lpskins | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  8. I love how honest you are…so refreshing! I think that you are making progress and like you said this was a 14 year in the making thought process so it will take time to break! My hope is that one day you see the beautiful person that we all see! 🙂

    Comment by Kelly | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  9. I totally hear ya on the jeans part. I feel like I have to take mine off immediately after a big meal because they feel that much tighter everywhere. I know that’s probably not possible, but it really feels that way!

    Comment by Kelly | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • pant extenders, anyone?

      Comment by lpskins | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  10. I hear ya lady! My bf is never making plans…just go w/the flow and I always want to know what’s going on. As w/the eating and fitting clothes on, I just worked out, showered and tried to put on a pair of jeans….can we say Costco sized muffin top!!!! Last night I ate some nachos for dinner, I ate fine today and just feel like I’m getting no where!!! But 4 days ago, the jeans…..fit fine! UGHH!!! I also feel like I’m not psyched about my wardrobe it either shows too much cleavage (in my mind) or too much of my muffin top is showing! HELP!

    Comment by Katelyn | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • “costco size muffin top” classic Kate. xoxoxo

      Comment by lpskins | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  11. I can relate to a lot of this. I’m getting better about being social, but it’s almost become a habit to want to turn people down when they ask me to go out with them. I’m working on it…

    Comment by homecookedem | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • it is like a habit…. good job for working on it.

      Comment by lpskins | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  12. I actually learned something on “The Bachelor” last night! Work as hard on your relationship as you do in your career (this totally applies to me in every single way)… 🙂

    Comment by Kimberley | February 23, 2010 | Reply

    • Love that. So true.

      Comment by lpskins | February 23, 2010 | Reply

  13. It sounds like Mimi is giving you some really good advice and (sorry for the phrase) food for thought. I know that feeling of being “fat” because of eating something. It is silly, but it is there.

    Comment by kilax | February 24, 2010 | Reply


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