Goodies Galore

Learning to focus less on dieting and more on overall health and wellness

Everybody’s Fine

Y’all, I was the definition of a basket case last night. Before I met Lenny, I used to jampack my weekends. I’m not sure why this was; maybe because I couldn’t sit with self long enough or maybe for other reasons less complicated. He has taught me that it’s okay to leave weekends untouched and open to different plans. It wasn’t until the last few months that I started taking his advice.  At first, it felt liberating to not have to be anywhere or answer to anyone. This weekend was the third weekend in a row that I had minimal plans. My only plans were for Friday night and they got cancelled at the last-minute. Len got invited to a fund-raiser last night and I could tell he felt hesitant to leave me alone with nothing to do. “I’ll be fine” I said and shooed him out the door. And I was fine, I just felt really lonely. I was faced with the fact that since being in Boston for three years, I have yet to establish a core group of girlfriends. Don’t get me wrong, I have girlfriends here that I love being and laughing with. But things are different now. Everyone has husbands, fiances, or obligations that make it harder to “pop” in for a girls night. I’ve never been one for the going out to the bars so I automatically limit myself from partaking in certain plans.

Last night I yearned for my girlfriends who are out of reach. I wanted so bad to just curl up on the couch with them and just be. Not have to think, not have to talk, just be. I must have cried for about an hour straight thinking about it. Loneliness is really difficult to sit with. Within that time I searched for the perfect On Demand Movie. The Hangover? Nah, too funny for my mood. Julie and Julia? Maybe, but I’d love to watch something I haven’t seen. Everybody’s Fine? Perfect. Holy hell, was that a bittersweet choice. Without spoiling the movie, Everybody’s Fine is about a father who is absolutely in love with his kids. He travels around the country to visit them and make sure that everyone is happy and satisfied in life. The story was touching and beautifully told. Robert De Niro portrayed the love of a father perfectly. Being the “daddy’s girl” who I am, I cried from start to finish. Len came home around two and we watched it again. In the opening scene he said to me, “Are you getting emotional already?” Yes, yes I was. From start to finish. It was just one of those nights.

In the midst of my flood, I realized how beautiful it is that tears represent sadness. When our heart and body feels something strongly enough, little drops fall out of our eyes to help share that message. It’s a wonderful thing. Now, if only I wasn’t an “ugly crier”. You know what I mean, right?

Onto something more pleasant.. FOOD. Yesterday we went to The Border Cafe for lunch and I stuck with my standard veggie fajita. The Border has a bunch of vegetarian options but these fajitas are just too good to pass up. the Border always starts the table off with a bowl of fresh fried tortillas and salsa. I had my fair share. As soon as the basket gets 3/4 down, they bring another one. Yeah, it’s bad. In the picture below, check out the monstrous cups drinks are served in. I ordered a water and a diet coke. That probably explains why I was up till 4 in the morning. I basically drank a gallon of the stuff.

Chips, salsa, and caffeine bombs.

God only knows how much salts in there

Sweet lord, thank you for my meal.

This meal was eaten for last nights dinner too. Nice!! I love that. I swapped out the white tortillas for wheat ones at dinner and added some avocado rather than cheese Gotta mix it up a little.

Before dinner, I ate a Clif Bar snack. Mojo bars(dipped or not) are totally new to me and they just do not disappoint. I tried the Trail Mix kind and it was a perfect salty/sweet combo. I loved how you could literally pick the different pieces out: Chocolate chips, raisins, almonds and peanuts. Incredibly good.

Come to mama.

Around eleven I ate a small bowl of honey nut chex but didn’t take a picture. There was a moment when I wanted to eat my sorrows away but luckily it passed quickly.

Today Len and I have a seven miles planned and I have lunch with a girlfriend. Thank God!  I hope I didn’t depress anyone over this post. Are you someone who has a lot of friends or a few really close friends? Do you feel satisfied with your circle of friends?

If you haven’t already entered for the Clif bar giveaway, you can do so here.

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February 28, 2010 - Posted by | Clif Bar, Family, Food, Friends, giveaway, Movies, running, The Boyfriend

27 Comments »

  1. Sorry you were feeling lonely last night but I have to tell you that I totally cracked up at ugly crier. I am an ugly crier too.

    Comment by christie, honoring health | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  2. Oh girl, I can SO relate to this post. Since moving to Altoona, I have not made a SINGLE close girlfriend. I don’t even let myself think about it really, because I get WAY too sad. I miss my girlfriends from high school and college so much that it makes my heart hurt. I think that’s one of the hardest things about growing older, honestly.

    Comment by Anna | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  3. I agree whole heartily with you and anna. My college girlfriends and my high school bf are no split up all over the country, and I HATE it. My grad school class consists of 11 people who I have every class with. There are 4 other girls, and frankly I dont really like any of them (my grad school gets weirdly competitive and I don’t care for that aspect.) Although I am more than happy to have Joey here with me, it gets really lonely, and I can’t wait to move to wherever we get jobs in a few months and try making friends in a new city, because I really need it.

    Comment by quarterlifewellness | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  4. I’m so sorry that you were feeling lonely last night! I do totally relate to this post. I have zero girlfriends where I live now. I have cousins, but they are married with babies. And then all of my running friends (which are really my only friends here) are middle aged men. All of my close friends in the world, even if they aren’t here, are all married ro engaged anyway…and I’m the single odd girl out…just lonely. Which is why I think I am way too obsessed with my dog. He’s my bf and my bff.

    The only thing that has helped me some is video skype. I spend probably way too much time video skyping with all of my college and grad school friends who are hundreds if not thousands of miles away. It’s not the same as being on the couch with them, but it’s so much better than the phone because you can actually see them.

    But you’re right, a good cry can help a lot. And, don’t worry about being an “ugly crier” I truly believe that ugly crys are far more cathartic than “pretty cries.”

    Comment by pen | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  5. Hey mama!!! I can relate since I don’t have a lot of friends don’t you wish you had that core group of girls like in sex in the city. Cheer up buttercup don’t like to hear your sad!! Sometimes it’s a good thing to not have any plans. Maybe last night was for you to relax and do nothing and if you cried thats what you needed to to. Today is a new day chica!!! Take care of yourself.

    Comment by Yvonne | February 28, 2010 | Reply

    • Yes, that’s exactly what I need—a close group of gals like sex in the city.
      Thanks for being so sweet Yvonne.

      Comment by lpskins | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  6. sorry about being lonely! i’m kind of scared of that for when I leave next year :/

    and that Mojo bar is my favorite by far!


    Sara

    Comment by Sara | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  7. Same boat here… my truly one really good girlfriend lives in Florida and I am in NJ… I have cousins, etc. but they are living their life and one lives in Virginia. I moved away to FL for a long time and came home a few years ago. The people I used to hang with are just so totally different from me now and we barely have anything in common. We normally just constantly play phone tag anyway. I mostly have guy friends here which is slightly annoying. I work with mostly men and hang out mostly with men so it makes me miss her more! 😦 I am seeing someone now but I have to agree that hanging out with a girlfriend is one of life’s great pleasures. It is nice to see there are others in the same boat (although sad, too)!

    Comment by Kimberley | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  8. i agree, it is beautiful that tears represent sadness, i think it’s actually an amazing emotion and i’m glad that i expreience if from time to time..makes me realize the things that i am thankful for and i am so much more appreciative! sorry you were lonely tho!

    Comment by Stef @ moretolifethanlettuce | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  9. I’m sorry you had a rough night, but if it’s any consolation, I’m definitely in your boat. I have one group of “girlfriends” I’ve known since sixth grade, and nothing has compared to them, but they’re spread out at different colleges across the country. I’ve never been one of those people that becomes obsessed with their girlfriends, but I do get lonely sometimes. There are very few of my friends I can be with and absolutely be myself, and most of them are guys.

    At least you had Mexican to cheer you up 🙂 I love the chips and salsa baskets at Mexican places…I’ve usually eaten half of it within three minutes. Enjoy your run today!

    Comment by Gabriela @ Une Vie Saine | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  10. I love love love this post. I can’t even begin to express how this is EXACTLY the way I’ve been feeling lately. Since I’ve been in Michigan I’ve generally been very lonely. Like you, it’s not that I don’t have some girlfriends here to hang around with, but it’s just not the same to me. I really, really miss my best friend Mollie and if I think too much about it, I end up getting really upset. I also didn’t realize how much I love being around my family until I was 12 hours away from them. Whether it’s just running errands with my mom, watching a game with my step dad, playing sports with my little bro & sis, going to their soccer/softball/basketball games, having dinner at my dad’s house, etc., I always have something to do and it’s really comforting to know that.

    Here I feel like there is never anything going on – and I’m pretty certain that’s the case. My friends don’t enjoy the same things I do and it’s nearly impossible to get them to do anything I want to. I spend way too much time alone and while I’m not completely adverse to this, too much alone time I’ve discovered is never good. This weekend, for whatever reason, has been especially hard. I don’t know what it is. I just really miss my aunts, cousins, and friends popping over to spend an afternoon, or just lounging will my close friends – the people who know me better than anyone. I’ve never felt that comfortable with anyone I’ve met in Michigan and it’s definitely taking its toll on me. The only thing that keeps from getting depressed I think is the fact that I know I’ll be home in August. I can’t wait to get the hell out of here.

    Comment by Olivia | February 28, 2010 | Reply

    • Sorry, didn’t mean to sound all depressing! I just can really relate to everything you said. I also really want to see that movie but know I won’t be able to handle it alone, especially since my relationship with my father isn’t great at all. LOL. Anyway, I’ve totally accepted the fact that a good cry can really be very healing. I think I’ve also found a lot of healing (not sure if that’s quite the right word) in running. It’s a way to take my mind off things and just ‘be.’

      Comment by Olivia | February 28, 2010 | Reply

      • Oh please, I brought on depressing! Sorry you’re feeling it too. Soon enough you will be home and happy again. It’s great that running has proved to be so helpful.Waiting on your newly vegan post…. HURRY! How’s it going?

        Comment by lpskins | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  11. I always order veggie fajitas out at restaurants since I can put what I want in them… which usually consists of a ton of guacamole 🙂

    Comment by Haleigh | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  12. I ❤ you!

    Comment by Ali | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  13. I am sorry you were lonely! I love being alone. I don’t know why…but sometimes I want keith to have plans so i can just be. But I understand what you mean about friends…Keith is my lifeline and without him I am usually on my own. But I guess I am okay with it!:)

    Comment by Kelly | February 28, 2010 | Reply

    • ohh, I envy that about you.

      Comment by lpskins | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  14. I am watching Everybody’s Fine right now!!

    Comment by Kimberley | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  15. Looks like you have a lot of support here. Funny thing “Morgan” LOL, is that I too moved here (near Boston) 3 years ago, and I too have not made any friends here really. I did have some at work but I worked so far away from where I live.
    My husband was in Iraq for 15 months so I was SO lonely and I was just like you and used to go out all the time, every weekend I made sure was booked. That faded over the years, I sit here now on a Sunday in my pajamas writing a publication for a journal, last night bed by 11pm… the life!!

    Comment by Morgan (from 02) | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  16. What a beautiful way to describe tears. I’ve never really thought of them that way.

    Comment by homecookedem | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  17. I miss you too and after talking to you last night I had issues holding back the loneliness. I ended up watching Lifetime Movies – which reminded me of the South Union days even more and to top it off in one of the movies they were talking about how the friends you make in college aren’t like any other friend you will ever make etc etc etc. DEPRESSING! Although we are all so far away from each other and its sad you have to be happy in that at least you know you always have your girls. No matter what! No more tears pretty lady!! Love you tons!!!! COCOCOOCOCO

    PS.. you know I’m a ugly crier as well!

    Comment by Lindsay | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  18. Since I’ve moved to the Chicago area, I’ve had quite a few of those nights- friends have other plans, not as many friends around, friends too busy to go out, etc. It’s hard, but no worries, you’re never as alone as you think you are!

    I hope the rest of your weekend is wonderful! 🙂

    Comment by Amy @ Second City Randomness | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  19. I totally feel you on this! You had me tearing up just reading. 🙂 I have 3 close friends from high school and 5 from college who I know will be my friends till the end. Unfortunately I don’t talk to them enough to feel everyday superclose. I have a couple friends here, and many many acquaintances, but I am such a butterfly that I don’t have a core group like I did before. The military thing makes it harder, find a good friend and they’ll move away before you know it. But for me, the lonely nights come when Patrick is deployed.

    Good on ya for picking a good movie and having some fabulous eats this weekend. Enjoy your last few hours of it! 🙂

    Comment by lindsayruns | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  20. i know your lonliness my friend. i am the first of my friends to have babies, and everyone kinda dropped out when reality hit that i couldn’t go out anymore like i used to. talking on the phone is not a good avenue either because the kids fight for my attention as soon as i pick up the phone. i don’t like baby talk so i wouldn’t be good in any mommy and me groups. my weekends used to be jammed packed too, so the quiet and the lonely is even louder now. but, i’m learning to enjoy spending time alone with myself, without binging to make the time go by faster. its a work in process…but aren’t we all a work in progress 😉

    Comment by jenn graves | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  21. ps- i too watched everyone’s fine last night on on-demand, and i was a basket case throughout the entire movie as well.

    Comment by jenn graves | February 28, 2010 | Reply

  22. I know exactly how you feel, but I actually prefer having time to myself most of the time. I’ve always been kind of a loner. Anyway, my closest friends live out of state and I don’t have many girlfriends…maybe one or two? That live in MA. I think people just grow apart as they get older and you have to adjust to the change. It’s hard, but it’s part of life. I’m going to write back to your email so we can plan a date. Perhaps we are destined to fill each other’s friendship voids! Oh, that sounds creepy and stalkerish…I like it. I’m coming for you! hahaha! totally kidding 🙂

    Comment by MelissaNibbles | March 1, 2010 | Reply

  23. YOU HAVE ME!! seriously, I dont have a core group of GFs here either, thast why its so nice to have my BF BUT it there is NOTHING like having girlfriends, I wish I had there here btu I dont either. all of my friends moved to NYC or DC after college and none (besides a few) chose to stay in boston. What I am saying is that I am here and we need to hang out assap! 🙂

    Comment by Naomi (onefitfoodie) | March 1, 2010 | Reply


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