Goodies Galore

Learning to focus less on dieting and more on overall health and wellness

Never doing THAT again.

It’s 3:30 and I just got back from church. Where to start. Charlotte picked me up at 10:30 for 11 mass. She wanted to talk about what to expect, specifically about the intimacy of the setting. She informed me that there would be about 13 people there , that everyone was Chinese, and that they were nervous for me to attend. (F word.) I should also know that people pray in tongue. (Holy shit.) I had heard about people praying in tongue but had never heard it and quite frankly, never want to again. I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but that shit is SCARY. Really. It gave me goose bumps and it felt like the scene for the perfect horror movie.  We ended the first Mass with a good 10 minutes of tonguing.(?!) Well I wasn’t tonguing of course. My prayer consisted of, “Please lord make this stop.”  One time I tried to make my own noise and roll my tongue.

Around 12 something I was ready to get out of there. Low and behold, lunch was served in the basement. Lunch was actually really nice because everyone was so friendly and made me feel welcomed. Then around one, I was informed that we’d now head up to bible study. Are you freaking kidding me??? I sent Len 400 texts saying, “COME GET ME NOW!”, “I’m not kidding. NOW!” and  when he didn’t answer the phone or respond to my texts, “Are you trying to punish me for going to church? I’m going to kill you. Help!!”  They might have been a little dramatic.

Around 2:50 he arrived and I graciously excused myself from bible study.

Quite the experience.


April 17, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. Yeah… I love the church I’m currently at, but the few I’ve been to that are really small and intimate (like one I went to in Buenos Aires that was 5 people – including the pastor, my friend and myself) were not exactly comfortable OR easy to politely excuse yourself out of.

    Comment by cookeatburn | April 17, 2010 | Reply

  2. Yikes, that just sounds extremely uncomfortable. Don’t let it discourage you though!! I’m sure you can find a good church where you feel at ease near you.

    Comment by homecookedem | April 17, 2010 | Reply


    I’m sorry for you, but this just cracked my shit up 🙂

    Comment by Anna | April 17, 2010 | Reply

  4. Lmao.. oh wow. I don’t think you’re texts sound that dramatic, I would have been freaking out too. Well.. at least you attempted. Haha..

    Comment by highonhealthy | April 17, 2010 | Reply

  5. Oh my God, that sounds like the worst church service ever. I’ve sat through some long ones, but nothing that bad!! At least now you know 🙂

    Comment by Gabriela @ Une Vie Saine | April 17, 2010 | Reply

  6. Ugh. Scary! I think church is bad enough w/o speaking in tongues!

    Comment by kilax | April 17, 2010 | Reply

  7. Wow, that sounds absolutely brutal. i am so sorry for you.

    Comment by Kelly | April 17, 2010 | Reply

  8. OMG! That sounds terrible!! She probably shouldve warned you when she first asked you, not on the car ride there. Yikes!

    Comment by Stephanie | April 17, 2010 | Reply

  9. Are you fucking kidding me?!? HY-STERICAL. That’s what you get for trying to get all religious this late in the game. I’ll save you a seat in hell … mwahahahaa…

    Comment by Shleigh | April 17, 2010 | Reply

  10. YOU ARE FUNNY!! You didn’t want the quietness of the Catholic Church so you got a taste of the extreme. Mighty scary for you huh, Lins. A Saturday you won’t easily forget. I’ll say a prayer that you can sleep tonight.

    Comment by mom | April 17, 2010 | Reply

  11. hahahah your story cracked me up..when my uncle started dating a pastor of a Methodist church..he made me and my cousin dad used to go on the third sunday of every month because they served breakfast during the service that week so he would eat a free breakfast then fall asleep..we’re horrible church people..sometimes i just don’t think it’s meant for certain people!

    Comment by Jamie | April 18, 2010 | Reply

  12. Wow…that is a LONG time to be at church…you are a better friend than I am!

    Comment by Kelly | April 18, 2010 | Reply

  13. OMG!!! I died reading this. So scary and just horrible! There is a super church behind my apartment and I stay AWAY because whenever I get close they literally hunt me down and try to coax me into going to a service!

    Comment by Olivia | April 18, 2010 | Reply

  14. Wow this is a hilarious story! I can not believe she didn’t tell you before you went!!

    Comment by Ashleigh | April 18, 2010 | Reply

  15. […] you can be traumatized, too. I can’t stop thinking about my church experience this weekend. It really impacted me in a negative way and I want you all to suffer understand […]

    Pingback by Now you can be traumatized, too. « Goodies Galore | April 19, 2010 | Reply

  16. That sounds horrible. I’m sorry that happened to you.

    Comment by Christie {Honoring Health} | April 19, 2010 | Reply

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