Goodies Galore

Learning to focus less on dieting and more on overall health and wellness

Triggers

I am currently seeing an older client right now who struggles with an eating disorder. She has gone though the whole spectrum– from anorexia, to over exercising, to bingeing. She’s strongly believes that if only she were a size 12, life would be different. She would be happy and social, she’d feel comfortable in her own skin. To an extent, some of this is true. Who doesn’t want to be happy with their body? This can create great confidence. But on the other hand, the mindset that “everything will be better when I’m 20 pounds lighter, 10 pounds lighter, maybe five more” is sort of misbelief. It is this mindset that often sets people up for failure because we’re constantly waiting to live.

I, like my client, have felt the exact same way. As a matter of fact, I relate to her so much that I can almost predict the things that she will say. I understand not wanting to be social because the thought of trying on outfits makes you cringe. I understand the pain of restricting and going overboard, of being so consumed with feelings of shame and disgust.  For many years, I didn’t have a full size mirror because I was unhappy with the reflection. I get it.

My client came in yesterday so excited because she and her friend were signing up for Jenny Craig. Her energy was high and she was so hopeful that this program was going to be it. The lady at Jenny had promised her that she will lose the weight and maintain it once and for all. She couldn’t stop smiling and I wanted that newfound excitement too.

Since starting my blog, I’ve really made an effort not to diet. I’ve done them all…. well, except Jenny Craig. I left our session eager to look into Jenny myself. Maybe this is it for me too? I’ve seen the commercials. The girl with red hair looks fabulous. And Valerie? Boy, she has really been a success.

Then I snapped out of it. For me, dieting does not equal happiness. Happiness comes from going to a restaurant and ordering what you really want— not what is points friendly. Happiness is working out and feeling yourself getting stronger. Happiness is learning to stop eating before you’re in a food coma. Happiness is stopping a binge before it starts. Happiness is looking in a mirror and being proud of what’s before you. Happiness is going into your closet and feeling like you can wear whatever you want. For me, happiness cannot be found at a Jenny Craig counter.

I am striving for all of these things without a program. To me, this is living.

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October 20, 2010 - Posted by | eating disorder, Food

18 Comments »

  1. I think almost every woman can relate to your client no matter what their size. It’s hard not to think your life will be better once you reach your idea of perfection. It’s such a struggle. I hope your client can find happiness within herself instead of a dumb number on the scale.

    Blech! Jenny Craig is just overpriced Lean Cuisine. I’d rather eat dirt.

    Comment by MelissaNibbles | October 20, 2010 | Reply

  2. I agree– what happens when you go off of the program? To me, you have to learn to eat on your own, in the way that works for you– not in the way that some program tells you will work.

    Comment by Anna | October 20, 2010 | Reply

  3. Thank you thank you thank you for this amazing post. You are right, it is so easy to fall into the illusions and promises that diets try to sell. For me, its my boyfriend’s mom and granny that are always talking about weight watchers and how great it is. How much weight they are losing. How they can’t eat at that restaurant because there isn’t anything healthy there. Happiness really is not being restricted, and fully allowing yourself to eat anything that you are craving. And I love that you said exercise is to make yourself stronger, because who or what can top the high you feel when you lift more weight, run more miles, or hold a yoga pose for longer than you ever have before?

    Comment by Astrid | October 20, 2010 | Reply

    • Astrid- those weight watchers commercials tempt me every.single.day. And now with JHud on there? Forget it.

      Comment by lpskins | October 20, 2010 | Reply

  4. Amazing, motivational, moving… you are these things.

    Comment by Marina | October 20, 2010 | Reply

    • my goodness marina, you are quite the ego booster these days.

      Comment by lpskins | October 20, 2010 | Reply

      • Well.. I have been slacking in the motivational dept for awhile… I am making up for it.. haha.. but no.. this was really moving..

        Comment by Marina | October 20, 2010 | Reply

  5. I love this. We all have a bit of your client in us, but your approach is so much more positive. Thinking about what will truly make us happy is the key to finding happiness. It’s sometimes to hard to get that answer, but I love your perspective! I hope your client can find her happiness, too.

    Comment by Becky | October 20, 2010 | Reply

    • thanks beck!

      Comment by lpskins | October 20, 2010 | Reply

  6. i just feel like (and this is for me) it’s not worth it if you can’t figure it out yourself, you know? not that jenny craig doesn’t work – obviously it does and it’s highly successful. but i know that i would almost feel cheated of the experience if someone else did all the work for me!

    Comment by Heather | October 20, 2010 | Reply

    • and that’s why the weight always comes back on.

      Comment by lpskins | October 20, 2010 | Reply

  7. Linds so glad you realized that what is happiness to you is not about the diet but being healthy. I think in a year you have taken bigger steps then you know. Keep up the good work and know that you are getting better and HEALTHIER every day!

    Comment by Jacqui | October 20, 2010 | Reply

    • thanks jacqui– you’ve always been so sweet to me.

      Comment by lpskins | October 20, 2010 | Reply

  8. You are AWESOME. Well said girlfriend.

    Comment by Alice | October 20, 2010 | Reply

  9. I absolutely love this post. I have already read it a few times trying to think of what I want to say. I relate to you and your client so much. I know what you mean about hearing someone talk about a diet and then you want to try it. I am so happy you are not doing JC though. I had a coworker who did it and it just seems so restrictive, especially because like you, I want to go out and eat and drink and enjoy life and be happy. I especially love your last paragraph.. SO TRUE!

    Comment by Ashleigh | October 20, 2010 | Reply

  10. You should have some very interesting meetings with this client. I’m sure with all your acquired knowlege you will be able to share important prospectives on the subject of dieting, losing weight and accepting yourself through all the ups and downs of trying to obtain that “perfect weight or size”. I think that so often we are so hard on ourselves when we have that extra sweet or something and that is what triggers a binge, and perhaps a downward spiral. We have to learn to say “that’s okay, tomorrow’s another day”.

    By the way, happiness to me is having an amazing, talented, loving, beautiful daughter – YOU!

    Comment by mom | October 20, 2010 | Reply

    • thanks mama, this made me smile 🙂

      Comment by lpskins | October 21, 2010 | Reply

  11. YOU are right. I agree with you Mama too- these sessions could be very interesting for you- be careful that it is not “triggering” as alluded to in your title 😉

    Comment by jessdownes | October 21, 2010 | Reply


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