Wow, its been a long time. Can’t believe it’s actually freaking June. Where the hell does the time go? One year ago yesterday, I moved out of my place with Len and Ellie. (We broke up a few months before that but lived together till June.) Crazy to think how much has happened since that time. My life went from stable, consistent, and calm to wild and chaotic.
My friends tell me that I should write a book because of the ridiculous experiences I’ve encountered since the breakup… most of which are too inappropriate to disclose on this blog. Perhaps one day I’ll share. Despite the amazing and insane times, my mood continues to dip down into a funk at times. I never thought I’d still be going through periods of depression but I am. Last night my roommate and I established an action plan to get my ass in a better mental state.
Step 1: Be around people/animals/things that bring me joy. CHECK!
Look who’s staying for the weekend!
It’s a good thing she’s not covered in chocolate chips or I might just eat her up. I love this little rat.
Speaking of chocolate chips…
Step 2: STOP EATING MY FEELINGS! I use food as a coping skill so it’s safe to say I’ve gained weight. It’s no surprise that baked goods are my go-to foods for comfort. (See below for the fat girl special.)
That right there is a triple chocolate brownie
The reality is that sugar makes me feel like SHIT both physically and emotionally, which deepens the depression. Terrible cycle. So what’s a girl to do? JUST SAY NO to
crack sugar. I have a dietary plan but I’m not going to share it until I’m confident in my ability to follow through.
Step 3: Talk to someone.
I’m a therapist (How’d that happen???) so listening is more my strong suit. People talk to me about their struggles and I love it but it’s difficult for me to open up and be the talker. I’ve been isolating from friends and family which is very bad. (Here’s a tip: Don’t avoid family phone calls for weeks then randomly send a text to your dad stating “I kinda want to file bankruptcy then join the Peace Corps for two years. Thoughts? I’m serious.” This won’t go over well.)
With a little push from a good friend, I booked a therapy appointment for myself. (Do you guys remember when I went to Mimi? She was cool.) Therapy is a wonderful thing if you’re invested. Like many things in life, the more you put into it, the more you get out. I’ve been in and out of therapy since I was 16 years old (my parents thought I was an alcoholic; really I just got busted the
110 four times I went out drinking.) but I never really take it too seriously. This time around I’m going to try to be more open and honest. We’ll see how that goes.
STEP 4: WORKOUT.
Everyone knows that working out is AMAZING for both body and mind. Exercise has always been a form of medication for me. Running, in particular, has worked wonders for my mental state. Although I’ve been slacking in this department, the ball hasn’t dropped completely. Last week I ran alongside my good friend Ali, as she completed her first half marathon. I wasn’t signed up and I didn’t train, but I ran 11 miles with her for support. (I ate a block of cheese post race. Not good for the bowels.)
Some signs of depression include loss of interest and loss of motivation. It’s REALLY hard to get moving on some days (esp. today when it’s rainy and laying in bed sounds so much better) but ultimately I know that even the shortest bit of exercise will increase my mood. Strapping on my sneaks is a MUST for me. Been thinking about signing up for a few races to keep the motivation flowing. We’ll see.
That pretty much sums up my action plan for now.
What did I forget?
**I hope everyone is doing well! Happy Saturday.
Dudes, my feet are so mangled from running it’s not even funny. The sight of these suckers could make a grown man chuck. (Trust me, you do not want an inserted picture here.) With that said, my roommate and I are running a marathon in 3 weeks.
I do not anticipate this kind of happiness.
1) Convenience. The Bay State Marathon requires little planning and travel compared to driving to Vermont for the weekend.
2) Amount of runners. I am someone who feeds off the energy of other runners and spectators during races. I need it for fuel. The Green Mountain Marathon is tiny which means few runners and hardly any fans.
3) Hills. Vermont is not flat, Massachusetts is. Enough said.
While Melissa and I have been training, we haven’t been training enough. We essentially get 3-4 short (4 mile) runs in during the week and one long run on the weekend. I have missed at least 2 long runs secondary to being away. This past weekend we ran 18 flat miles. They were do-able, but it was hard to imagine having to run about 8.2 miles. I might kill someone.
Len and I ran a marathon back in 2008 so I know the kind of physical and mental distress marathons can cause. Around mile 17, I wanted to rip off my legs and beat the spectators with them. Although the physical pain was terrible, it was my mind that really got the best of me. I want to prepare my head this time around. Any tips?
No matter what happens, Melissa and I will finish and then bask in the glory of our hard work. I really only sign up for races for the free food anyways.
If anyone wants my bib number for the Green Mountain Marathon email me. I’m happy to hand it off.
I just completed my second week of triathlon training, with six weeks to go before the big day. As I’ve said before, I am most scared about the swim. Since it’s in August, I’m assuming I wouldn’t wear a wet suit, correct? My goal for any race is never about time, it’s about the training process and finishing. The bike and swim will be difficult but at least I can take a break if needed. The swim on the other hand– stopping means treading water and if I really need to stop and hold onto something, I’ll be disqualified. Ideally I should practice swimming in open water but I’m totally freaked out by the idea and probably won’t get around to it. This means that race day will be my first open water swim. Oy vey.
Anyways, back to the training. Though I printed out a plan, I haven’t followed it at all. I’ve sorta been waking up and doing whatever the hell I feel like for a work out. My activity has included swimming, running, biking and body pump. The problem with varying my workout everyday while training is that I feel like I’m just okay at everything. With half marathons, you run. Run, run and more running. With a tri, we must do it all so it’s hard to gauge improvements. The bonus is that I feel less bored, sometimes even excited to work out, and I’m finally getting some balance in my routine. This body pump class is the missing link to my regime. Love it.
Yesterday I went to body pump and then rode 15.5 miles along the Charles River I saw a PIG getting walked!!!?!! Unfortunately I couldn’t pet him (her?) because the owner said it might bite me. ouch! My legs felt tired after the ride but it was my butt and vageen that hurt the most. Bike seats are not easy on our ladies parts, are they?
Well, I’m off to work. Have a great Monday!!
I LOVED this past weekend and am devastated that it’s over. Yes, I know it’s almost Thursday but I’m still devastated.
Let’s start with the half marathon. To celebrate the night before our race, we went out to dinner in the North End of Boston. I chose the same restaurant from the weekend before because it was THAT good. I ordered the same thing, of course– baked pasta with red sauce, eggplant, zucchini, squash and goat cheese. Incredible.
Allison and I were up around 6:30 race morning trying to get a poop out. The one time I have a hard time eating is before a race. My nerves are amped up and typically I eat a heavy dinner the night before so it’s hard to get something down. As usual, I manage. Pre race meal was a piece of toast with peanut butter. The morning was already hot so Allison and I spent the next 1.5 hours complaining that summer races should be scheduled earlier than 8:30. Damn this race for being scheduled so hot.
I really need a new racing shirt. I’m sick of looking at the green one.
So we get to the race only to find that all the half marathoners were gone. We had green bibs, the only bibs around were blue for the 5 mile run. Turns out the race DID start at 8, not 8:30. So……. as the rest of the crowd faced one way while singing the national anthem, we, the sole half marathoners, ran through the start alone. Classic. NO one was around for the first 3 miles but luckily the race was out and back so it wasn’t long till we caught up with the others.
The first 3 miles were HOT, miles 3-7 had cloud cover which was amazing, and miles 7-13.1 were hotter than balls. End time was 2.23.33 which is A-OKAY with me. Right after finishing we sat in an ice bath that was provided at the expo. Glorious.
3rd race in 5 weeks. Sweet.
After the race we headed to New Hampshire to spend the night at Len’s parents campers. For those who have never been in a camper, or trailer as some say, click on this link for my video tour. PLEASE excuse the bed head, the smeared mascara and the smokers voice– I had just gotten out of bed. One day I’ll dress to impress. One day.
Monday morning we took Ellie for a short 1.5 mile hike. She totally loved being one with the wilderness. Our little mountain lion. After she got her exercise, Len and I did some mountain biking. We chose an “easy” 6 mile trail, according to our new mountain biking trail book, but it was definitely nerve-wracking at times. I can’t imagine going down a serious mountain and not falling off my bike. Len taught me what to do WHEN (not if) I fly over my handle bars. Imagine?? Oh shit. I joked that I want to ride in a knights costume.
All and all the weekend was great. I had way too many slices of chocolate cake, smores and cheese. I definitely ate all the calories I burned off but it’s okay. Could be worse.
P.S. I went to yoga yesterday morning and I can’t quite get over the heavy breathing, weird lingo, and crazy poses. What I can handle is Child’s pose. Oh yeah, that’s my kind of movement. Tonight, I went to Zumba and although it wasn’t as intense as I thought it would be, it was fun and the hour flew by. No joke, the class was full of middle age women and there was a 75-year-old man with a hearing aid in our class. I couldn’t decide if he was adorable or a total creeper. I think we all know the truth.. perv all the way.
Well, my eyeballs are closing so it’s time to catch some ZZZZZZZZ’s.
Question: Would you rather run out of fruits or run out of veggies?
Fruits all the way.
I started off the morning with an 8 mile run, which hopefully burned off the chocolate mouse cake, banana bread and veggie pizza I ate yesterday at work. I avoided weighing in this morning because I didn’t want the number to bum me out.Thanks for the work out tips from yesterday. Hopefully I can make myself a schedule each week and work hard to stick with it. I want to incorporate some weight classes, spin classes, MAYBE a yoga class and running. I need variety in my workout in a bad way.
Len and I are headed up to Vermont this weekend because his high school buddy is having a huge BBQ. His parents have a huge log cabin (on the right) that we are “camping” at tonight; it’s incredibly peaceful since its way back in the woods with no internet connection, television, etc. For New Years Eve 2007 we stayed there and had to take snow mobiles to get there. Good times.
Last night we watched Lovely Bones… it kept my attention which is a first but I wasn’t nuts for it. The only thing it really did was make me scared to go into the basement to change over the laundry. Why are basements SO creepy??? I feel like creeps are lurking in all the musty crevices and corners waiting to attack. Booo!
Okay, I’m off to pack and hit the road. What are you guys up to this weekend?
Two great things have happened in my life since I last wrote: I ran The Broad Street (10 mile) Run AND I finished grad school!!!!!!!! Which one do you think I’m most excited about?? That’s right, no more papers, no more tests, no more crappy classes, no more procrastinating. This means I have my weekends back! I can enjoy a Saturday and Sunday without the heavy weight of homework on my shoulders. I can come home at five and actually be DONE with work. Ohhh, life is good.
The past two years have been challenging; I learned a lot about myself and the field of social work. I have grown leaps and bounds in my clinical skills and believe it or not, there are several classes that I will miss. Keep in mind that I still have my internship three days a week until the last week in June. The good news is that I got hired per diem and my title is Clinical Therapist. ME!! I’m a clinical therapist!! Imagine??
Anyway, let’s talk about the race last Sunday. One word, HOT. It had to have been 600 degrees out there and people were literally passing out all over the place. The fire hydrants were spitting out water along the course. When I needed a good laugh I’d get wicked close to the hydrant and get nailed with the pressure of the water. For some reason that made me giggle each and every time.
I made the goal to run a 10 minute mile pace and I kept it up until mile 6. After that I slipped down to about 10:15. I walked through some of the water stops but not all. The 10 miles felt a lot harder than the half marathon the weekend before. Don’t ask how that happens but I was soooo thankful to not have to run those three extra miles. My finishing time was 1:42:37. I felt pleased with it seeing as it was hot, I ran alone and I didn’t train. Done and done.
I’ve always said that the best part of running a race are the bagels served afterwards. Leave it to Philly to hand out giant pretzels. No complaints here.
Well, it’s a rainy day here in Boston which is perfect for being lazy guilt free.
Well Nashville was a damn blast but we’re happy to be home. The 1/2 marathon was absolutely awesome and it really got me pumped to get running again. You’d think it would be the other way around but since we didn’t train I had been out of the running loop.
We hit up the expo Friday afternoon and bought a bunch of goodies. I had never run with a hat before but it was supposed to be raining for the run so I figured why not. Len got that awesome shirt and we both got socks.
Marathon day started REALLY early. The race was scheduled to start at 7 am but started 15 minutes earlier due to a serious tornado warning/thunderstorms and lightening/rain. Since there wasn’t any prior notice about an early start, people were running for the start line after the race had already begun. I felt SO bad for them. Unfortunately the bad weather kicked in about 3 hours into the race so many marathoners had to be rerouted and could only get 22 out of the 26.2 miles in. There were many disappointed faces.
Here we are bright and early in the hotel lobby ready to go.
I can’t begin to express how much I enjoyed this race. There were over 25,000 runners and we always had tons of people in front of us and behind us. It makes such a difference to be surrounded by a sea of energy. There were also TONS of spectators. People were handing out cut up fruit, candy, DOUGHNUTS, beer, and other things throughout the course. I had 2 Boston Creams. I kid. There were different bands at every mile and lots of things to look at, like Melissa from The Biggest Loser!! (P.S. I beat her.)
Len and I didn’t have a great time (2.30) because we did a lot of speed walking. There were also lots of hills. Work that booty! Despite the bad time, I felt really strong the entire time and felt like I could have continued on (though I was happy to not have to). I think boot camp was better training then the actual training plans I’ve followed in the past. My sister on the other hand smoked the race and finished in 1.53. I’m so proud of her. She’s totally addicted and wants to run another one soon. We’re going to sign up for the Rock & Roll half marathon in Philly. This race set the standard pretty high so I hope the others measure up.
Recovery has been pretty easy for me, despite some black and blue toenails. Len is another story; he’s hobbling around like he just shit out a hippopotamus. Hehe, poor bastard.
As far as Nashville goes… not so impressed. To be fair, we didn’t do any tourist type activities because of the horrible weather on Saturday. We did indulge in some seriously good food the entire weekend though. No bingeing but lots of deliciousness. We made sure to taste some southern grub such as sweet potato biscuits.
So maybe that doesn’t count as southern tradition but whatever.
You should know that I bailed on the tattoo situations so I came back ink free.
Check out this awesome shirt my sis bought me–” Bottle of Wine = 437 Cal 5 Miles.”
Besides running and eating, we did a lot of lounging…
Today we drove out to Franklin and hung out at this huge street fair. It was nice to explore life outside of Nashville.
On our way home we got stuck riding in the smallest plane ever. My head literally hit the ceiling and it was very bumpy. We got back about an hour ago and it’s 12:40 am. WAY past my bedtime.. We’ll see if I actually make it to booty tomorrow.
Morning! I’m feeling a little overwhelmed this morning as I have a full day ahead of me, a presentation that I am not prepared for tonight and preparation for leaving on a jet plane tomorrow. When I get home tonight I have to pack, clean the house for the person who’s staying with Eleanor, get Ellie’s “stuff” all squared away, etc.
I’m so excited for Nashville but nervous at the same time. The weather is calling for 73 for the high with a chance of thunderstorms. I hope it doesn’t get too hot out there. The race starts at seven in the morning which is brilliant. Early mornings make for better runs. Lisa things that we’ll be running together which is a joke considering she runs at a 7 something pace and I’m the old goat trying to maintain a 10 mile pace.
My sister and I are planning to (possibly) get a tattoo while we’re there. She already has 4 of them but I’m scared stiff of that needle thing and the wretched noise it makes. There’s a good possibility that I’ll bail on that plan–tattoo parlors remind me of the dentist and the dentist reminds me of hell. Speaking of, I totally have a cavity or something because my teeth are SO sensitive.
I made the decision NOT to bring my laptop to Nashville. This forces me to take a break from the online world and really focus on the people who I’m with. With that said, this will probably be the last post till Sunday night or Monday morning.
Wish me luck, pray for me (even if in tongue) and have a great weekend. xo
Hey Blogfaces! Long time not talk…..
No therapy update today because I didn’t go. FREEDOM!!!!!! Back to the couch next week.
As you may or may not know, Len and I are leaving on Friday for Nashville, TN. We are meeting my sister and her hubby there to run the Country Music HALF marathon. Unfortunately Len and I forgot to train so we’re pretty much screwed. There will be a whole lot of walking during that 13.1 miles. I’m pretty disappointed that we didn’t put any effort into preparing for this race but it’s too late to worry about it now. Luckily I have been active over the last month so I’m not COMPLETELY out of shape. Just….. mostly of out of shape. As of now, the forecast for Saturday says 78 and possibility of thunderstorms. If it gets any hotter than that someone’s going to die– and it will probably be me on the course. This hookers doesn’t do well in
I’m psyched to visit Nashville (Music City) since I’m a huge fan of country music. I want to explore everything so hopefully our legs won’t be too tired. The Country Music Marathon is extra cool because there’s a post race concert that night. My bro-in-law scored us back stage passes so we’ll be VIP bitches! Score. The singers are kinda lame (John Rich and Cowboy Troy) but it will still be fun! I get SO nervous around famous people so I’ll probably just stand there like a donkey.
Something weird happened at booty this morning. A random van pulled up and started promoting their product, Mix 1. (Keep in mind it was 6 in the morning and the trainers weren’t expecting it.) I had never heard of the brand but grabbed three and ran for the hills : blueberry vanilla, mango, and mixed berry. The sugar content in them is pretty high so I probably won’t drink them but Len will. You guys know I have issues drinking my calories away.
I just boiled cauliflower and it smells like a bag of ass in here. The wretched smell is so worth the bowl of excitement below.
Sorry I’ve been MIA. Thursdays are my crazy days and today I’m running around cleaning and packing before heading to class. Len is picking me up at school and we’re hitting the road to Maine. I just tried on my ski pants and I look like a beluga whale. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to look any more puffy. I really wanted to look cool on the slopes. Damn.
Len and I went for a run this morning which is good because I was having lots of cookie guilt. You should know that there have been many cookies over the last few days. Below are some other random eats. I’ll post again tonight or tomorrow with some updates from our trip. Have a great Friday and enjoy the weekend!!
It’s been one week since starting that Cindy Crawford face line– I don’t feel any different but I’m not sure that I’m supposed to. What the hell is that eye cream made out of? It kinda burns my eye skin when applied. Who said beauty was painless? P.S. One of my adolescent clients told me I had crowsfeet. Bastard.