Facebook can be a deadly invention when it comes to relationships. Facebook stalking is just too damn easy. One click and you can analyze every picture, every “check in”, every stupid status update. (Don’t even TRY to pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about.) Having access to an ex’s site can leave you with a glorified version of his/her life. Let’s face it, no one is posting about how much it sucked going to bed with blue balls last night or “checking in” from the toilet with diarrhea and a sore asshole. Everything is rainbows and butterflies in Facebook Land. So what’s a girl to do? DE-FRIEND that sucker and save yourself the grief. It’s okay to cut the ties. It actually feels kind of liberating. But what’s more annoying than de-friending someone only to find out that their page is public!??? Come on man, help a sister out.
Speaking of stalkers… I may or many not have a stalker who’s an ex-client…and a sex-offender… Oy Vey. The good news is that he’s a skinny little thing and I’m pretty sure I can take him down if needed, unless of course he’s on the bath salts. Then I’m screwed.
In other news…. how cute is this damn dog?
Off to run my first 5K!
Wow, its been a long time. Can’t believe it’s actually freaking June. Where the hell does the time go? One year ago yesterday, I moved out of my place with Len and Ellie. (We broke up a few months before that but lived together till June.) Crazy to think how much has happened since that time. My life went from stable, consistent, and calm to wild and chaotic.
My friends tell me that I should write a book because of the ridiculous experiences I’ve encountered since the breakup… most of which are too inappropriate to disclose on this blog. Perhaps one day I’ll share. Despite the amazing and insane times, my mood continues to dip down into a funk at times. I never thought I’d still be going through periods of depression but I am. Last night my roommate and I established an action plan to get my ass in a better mental state.
Step 1: Be around people/animals/things that bring me joy. CHECK!
Look who’s staying for the weekend!
It’s a good thing she’s not covered in chocolate chips or I might just eat her up. I love this little rat.
Speaking of chocolate chips…
Step 2: STOP EATING MY FEELINGS! I use food as a coping skill so it’s safe to say I’ve gained weight. It’s no surprise that baked goods are my go-to foods for comfort. (See below for the fat girl special.)
That right there is a triple chocolate brownie
The reality is that sugar makes me feel like SHIT both physically and emotionally, which deepens the depression. Terrible cycle. So what’s a girl to do? JUST SAY NO to
crack sugar. I have a dietary plan but I’m not going to share it until I’m confident in my ability to follow through.
Step 3: Talk to someone.
I’m a therapist (How’d that happen???) so listening is more my strong suit. People talk to me about their struggles and I love it but it’s difficult for me to open up and be the talker. I’ve been isolating from friends and family which is very bad. (Here’s a tip: Don’t avoid family phone calls for weeks then randomly send a text to your dad stating “I kinda want to file bankruptcy then join the Peace Corps for two years. Thoughts? I’m serious.” This won’t go over well.)
With a little push from a good friend, I booked a therapy appointment for myself. (Do you guys remember when I went to Mimi? She was cool.) Therapy is a wonderful thing if you’re invested. Like many things in life, the more you put into it, the more you get out. I’ve been in and out of therapy since I was 16 years old (my parents thought I was an alcoholic; really I just got busted the
110 four times I went out drinking.) but I never really take it too seriously. This time around I’m going to try to be more open and honest. We’ll see how that goes.
STEP 4: WORKOUT.
Everyone knows that working out is AMAZING for both body and mind. Exercise has always been a form of medication for me. Running, in particular, has worked wonders for my mental state. Although I’ve been slacking in this department, the ball hasn’t dropped completely. Last week I ran alongside my good friend Ali, as she completed her first half marathon. I wasn’t signed up and I didn’t train, but I ran 11 miles with her for support. (I ate a block of cheese post race. Not good for the bowels.)
Some signs of depression include loss of interest and loss of motivation. It’s REALLY hard to get moving on some days (esp. today when it’s rainy and laying in bed sounds so much better) but ultimately I know that even the shortest bit of exercise will increase my mood. Strapping on my sneaks is a MUST for me. Been thinking about signing up for a few races to keep the motivation flowing. We’ll see.
That pretty much sums up my action plan for now.
What did I forget?
**I hope everyone is doing well! Happy Saturday.
Saturdays are the shiiizzzzzzzzzzz. I’ve been up since the crack but really haven’t gotten anything accomplished. A run is in the very near future but it’s seriously windy out there. That’d be funny if I blew across the street. I think I’m slowly coming out of my depressed funk. It’s lasted much longer than expected but the past few days have been more joyful and upbeat, so that’s hopeful. Depression blows.
Have you ever woken from a dream crying or laughing? I’ll never forget one time I dreamt that this dude was climbing up a ladder and bumped his head on a chandelier. I was hysterical in my dream and woke up dying laughing. What a good feeling that was. I woke up crying two nights ago because in my dream I was saying goodbye to my friend who’s moving (in real life) to Oklahoma. So strange.
For lunch I made Mama Pea’s Magic Kale Salad. I swapped walnuts for pistachios and omitted the sesame oil because I didn’t have any. It’s chillin in the fridge as we speak waiting to be gobbled up.
It’s time to face this wind! Speaking of wind, what are your thoughts on people farting in the office? I work with a girl who rips ass all day but won’t stand for anyone else doing it. RUDE!
Morning!! How was everyone’s weekend? Earlier last week I was feeling a little overwhelmed by my schedule so I decided to slow things down a bit this weekend. Turns out I had too much down time which made for a somewhat boring weekend. Live and learn.
Friday night I went to a friend’s house for some food, bev, and girl time. The theme of the night was Succulent Wild Women, after the Sark book. We didn’t get very wild but had fun sharing wild stories and laughing. Thanks for hosting, Mikaela.
My roommate and I saw Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close on Saturday night. The movie was well written and very, very sad. Bring an entire roll of toilet paper with you because you and your neighbor will need it. I almost broke out in full-blown sobs at one point.
Sunday was uneventful. Melissa and I sat around all morning procrastinating our long run. The race is in 5 weeks so mileage is climbing. We were supposed to run 14 but only ran 12.5 because I screwed up my Garmin. Totally fine with it. Check out my pre and post meals.YUM.
Most importantly– Ellie and I have been enjoying our time together this weekend. We explored the Arnold Arboretum.
She romped through the fields and enjoyed being wild and free. (I, unfortunately, did not get any romping in.)
We played ball at the park and dug up the baseball field. Sorry little league.
And fit in lots of snuggling and sleeping.
For some reason, she insists on squeezing into the small bed even though there’s a bigger one right next to her.
I’m off to drop her off then head to work.
Any good stories to share? I could use a laugh.
You know it’s time to stop blogging about relationships when your inbox is filled with concerned emails from close friends and family. I’m fine everyone, I promise!! I’m great, actually.
Let’s talk about something near and dear to our hearts: FOOD!
I’ve accepted and moved on from the fact that I don’t fit into any of my clothes. It’s been fun boozing face and eating whatever the hell I want but it’s time to reign it in a bit. Plans/diets don’t typically work out for me but I have come up with a plan of sorts to get the scale moving downward.
Healthy eating starts at home (not to say the nearest Dunkin Donuts won’t call my name. God love me a jelly stick.) so I stocked up at Trader Joe’s.
Tofu, veggie meatballs, tempeh, soup, bars, peanut butter (back away from the pumpkin butter mother f-er), bananas, bunch of vegetables, oatmeal, sauce, and soy creamer. I’ve been big into the kale lately. Chomp chomp.
I joined a 10 pound challenge at my gym. There doesn’t seem to be a prize (what’s a challenge without a prize?!?) so I’ll probably last about 2 days.
My roommate and I are signing up for a 20 mile race for some added motivation. It’s only 8 weeks away so we need to get our butts in gear asap. The thought of running 20 miles makes me gag but desperate times call for desperate measures. We’ve all been there.
I also plan to have lots and lots of sex as a form of exercise. Just kidding, I’m nearly a virgin at this point. (Again, we’ve all been there. Right? RIGHT?)
I’ll start weighing in again on the blog this weekend to keep me accountable. Don’t judge.
So there you have it my loves.
Hi Everyone. How happy are you that it’s Friday?? Sorry to all those suckers out there who work weekends. 😉 Sucks to be you.
I forced myself out of Ali’s warm house this morning for a freezing cold run. Don’t I look psyched? (If I smiled you’d find peppercorn in my teeth from my breakfast burrito). Don’t mind the unwashed face, unbrushed hair and lack of makeup. Though I never understood people who wear makeup to workout.
My intention was to run 6-8 miles but I could only stand 3. My fingers were like popsicles by the end of it and my vagina was numb. I ran along the Burlington Bike Path which runs along Lake Champlain. So beautiful.
Don’t let the sun fool you.
After the run, I hit up Church Street, which is basically the “city center” of Burlington. It’s so quaint and romantic. Church Street is very nostalgic for me.
My friend and I attempted to go for a nature walk but we
are pussies underdressed and only lasted 500 feet. Instead I snapped some photos and drove home. Good times.
Now I’m sitting on my ass eating trail mix. Balance, people.
Is it really Monday already? This is bull crap! The weekend was pretty good, however it was missing something… my sister.
Lisa and her hubby typically come to Boston for a visit this time of year but someone had to go make a baby and decide to move to Dallas. Again, bull crap. I missed our shenanigans.
It’s a good thing my nephew is cute.
Anywho, let’s catch up some more, shall we? Despite yesterdays post, you should know that I haven’t spent all my free time getting fat. Four weeks ago my roommate and I ran a marathon and yesterday we ran a half marathon.
mother f-ing Marathon.
Marathon morning started off beautifully.
We were eager to wake up and eat our standard pre-race breakfast of toast, peanut butter and banana. This meal never gets old. Of course coffee was involved to clear out the old pipes. The goal is always to avoid runners shits.
We snapped a few pics right before heading out.
This joy didn’t last very long. Three words– Never, Ever, Again.
I knew what to expect because Len and I ran a marathon in 2008 but holy crap– it was brutal. I swear on everything holy, I was basically suicidal by the time I crossed the finish line. Melissa and I trained a decent amount and completed all of our long runs so the physical aspect wasn’t the problem. The mental aspect is what ruined me. Things were going smoothly until about mile 13 when I found myself engaging in serious negative self talk. Soon I began slowing down and was unable to keep up with Melissa. We separated at that point and I started to feel very defeated. That set the mood for the remainder of the race which quite frankly, sucked goat balls. Even my favorite tunes couldn’t rescue me.
Thanks for nothing Rihanna. It’s crazy how powerful the mind can be.
**In about a year or so, when I’ve long forgotten the pain and agony that 26.2 miles did on my mind and body, please please please stop me from signing up for a 3rd marathon.
Half Marathons are way cooler
Yesterdays half marathon was a much better experience. Melissa and I signed up for the Fattman Cup Chilly Half Marathon at the last-minute as a ‘why not’ type of thing. We ran it last year and enjoyed the experience. For some reason, we didn’t put much pressure or thought into this half and had a very nonchalant and relaxed approach to running. No pre-race jitters at the start or anything. Because I was in such a bad place mentally during the marathon, I knew things could only get better. And it did. Despite it being incredibly hill, I kept a 9.35 pace (which is great for me) and finished in 2.05. The bad news is I shit myself. Kidding.
After hours and hours of lounging on our couch yesterday, Melissa and I finally motivated to run around 3:30 p.m. We had one last training run to hammer out. We couldn’t avoid it, it had to be done. We pumped ourselves up by taking stupid pictures and belting out some tunes.
Let me tell you something– 21 miles is a long ass run. It seemed as though we ran for 3 weeks straight. We started running during day light hours and by the time we finished it was dark. Because Boston is so small, we needed to run the entire Charles River and then weave in and out of the city streets to cover more miles. We had a bunch of interesting encounters along the way that kept our minds busy. (Some old perv asked if we were in a wet t-shirt contest because we were so sweaty. We kicked him in the balls and kept it moving.) We also ran through a parade which was cool for about 2 minutes. During the last mile, the sky opened up and dumped rain on us. It felt symbolic and made us laugh. We managed to stay positive despite aching knees and shoulders. Having big boobs is a disservice when running. Feels like cannon balls are hanging from my collar-bone.
Melissa and I were super proud of ourselves for tackling such a great distance. Finishing a run, be it 4 miles or 20, brings about a feeling of euphoria that cannot be matched.
Unless you’re popping ecstasy pills. Running is a self-esteem builder and a test of will. With that said, I’m happy that our long training runs are behind us. Only one run left before the big day. Sweet!
We celebrated with lots of beer, good company, and then an amazing lunch today at the Beehive. If you live in the area, please go there and gobble up the most amazing meal ever- the Mezze Platter. You might just cream your pants. No joke.
Dudes, my feet are so mangled from running it’s not even funny. The sight of these suckers could make a grown man chuck. (Trust me, you do not want an inserted picture here.) With that said, my roommate and I are running a marathon in 3 weeks.
I do not anticipate this kind of happiness.
1) Convenience. The Bay State Marathon requires little planning and travel compared to driving to Vermont for the weekend.
2) Amount of runners. I am someone who feeds off the energy of other runners and spectators during races. I need it for fuel. The Green Mountain Marathon is tiny which means few runners and hardly any fans.
3) Hills. Vermont is not flat, Massachusetts is. Enough said.
While Melissa and I have been training, we haven’t been training enough. We essentially get 3-4 short (4 mile) runs in during the week and one long run on the weekend. I have missed at least 2 long runs secondary to being away. This past weekend we ran 18 flat miles. They were do-able, but it was hard to imagine having to run about 8.2 miles. I might kill someone.
Len and I ran a marathon back in 2008 so I know the kind of physical and mental distress marathons can cause. Around mile 17, I wanted to rip off my legs and beat the spectators with them. Although the physical pain was terrible, it was my mind that really got the best of me. I want to prepare my head this time around. Any tips?
No matter what happens, Melissa and I will finish and then bask in the glory of our hard work. I really only sign up for races for the free food anyways.
If anyone wants my bib number for the Green Mountain Marathon email me. I’m happy to hand it off.
I shouldn’t have bragged about my cleanse . I was defeated 2 days after my post. Oops! I lost the battle to Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and a whoopee pie. I shit you not. I swear, those blasted whoopee pies own me. The good news? I broke my caffeine habit and only plan to drink it on weekends. I’m not going to be rigid about this rule. If I’m dying for a cup of joe during the week, fine. I just don’t want to be a slave to the coffee pot again. I noticed that without caffeine, I feel less anxious and paranoid.
This weekend has been very relaxing. Saturday morning, my roommate and I set out for a long run. We intended to run 16 miles but my Garmin died so we only ended up covering about 13 miles. I was ready for it to be over so it worked out well. The marathon is about 2 months away so we have plenty of time to climb in miles.
Then we hit up the farmers market. There’s no
hippier happier place than a Farmers Market. Babies and dogs running around, free samples, sunshine, music, sexy people. My kind of place. I purchased some beautiful fruits and veggies. Almost too beautiful to eat but not quite…
Just when I thought life couldn’t get better, I discovered something magical…
Up until 5 minutes ago, I thought these were simply the sweetest of all tomatoes. To my surprise, they are cherries. Peel back that soft shell and find a true delight.
Husk cherry = Modern day Skittle. No joke.