That post was a little pre-mature

Oops! That wasn’t supposed to publish.
I’m blogging from iPhone for the first time and I’m not very tech-savvy. Anyways, Ali made quinoa, butternut squash and tempeh. For dessert, homemade pumpkin frozen yogurt with chocolate chips. Hello heaven.

Can anyone explain why my
iPhone takes such crappy pictures?

We’re going to a music festival tonight to see Grace Potter. I kinda want to marry her. She’s an incredible Vermont born artist, sings like a champion and plays all her own instruments. Just sick. And girlfriend has legs like you read about.

Enough about her. Al and I are headed out for a six mile run now, then checking out the local farmers market for tonight’s dinner. I ❤ this place.

Good morning from

VERMONT!!! My mind and body are in relaxation mode here in my favorite place on earth. My girl Ali takes care of me.
Last night I arrived to a beautiful home cooked meal.

Hhahs

Story time about kindness.

From an early age, I’ve been lucky enough to see the world through empathetic and caring eyes. Sometimes I’m too idealistic and this becomes a fault. Sometimes my kindness gets taken for weakness. Still, I never want to harden or lose that part of myself. I make an effort almost daily to practice an act of kindness. Sometimes it’s appreciated, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it goes unnoticed, perhaps I’ll never know if it gets noticed. But being noticed or appreciated isn’t the point.

There’s a main street by work where all the pan handlers hang out. If you get stuck at the light, which is ALWAYS the case,  its only a matter of seconds before some pathetic looking soul with puppy dog eyes  approaches the car window. Sometimes, depending on my level of road rage, I’m already annoyed at the situation so I say “sorry” quite firmly then pretend to be busy looking at the radio or phone. Other times, my empathetic side wins and I can’t help but empty my purse into the rusty tin can held out at arm’s length.

We all know that giving money to panhandlers isn’t the best idea because it’s likely being used for drugs or alcohol. To remedy that, I started carrying granola bars in my car to pass out as treats.  (Halloween came early, bitches.) I was now well-equipped to handle the street corners so when the next homeless man approached, I quite proudly offered him a bar. He looked at it hesitantly and with disgust said, “What kind is it?” “Are you serious dude?” I thought to myself. “If you’re really that hungry  you’d eat a granola bar made of pubic hair and ants.”  Sure enough he passed on the damn bar.

Last night I had a much better experience. Before going home after work, I stopped at the gas station for a treat. (Ended up with a shit load of donuts that I ate RIGHT before bed but that’s neither here nor there.) Outside the station was a younger guy shivering, he was clearly homeless. As I was leaving he asked me for some change. I said no but offered him something to eat. “I’ll take anything.” So he and I went inside for a little Super Market Sweep action. “Get whatever you want I said.” He picked up a measly Little Debbie snack but I insisted he get something more to hold him over. (He and I share the same love of Swiss Rolls and Zebra Cakes.) As he roamed around the store, reluctantly picking out food items,  he repeated “No one’s ever done this before, no one’s ever done this before.” Finally with a bag of donuts, 2 Little Debbie snacks and a vitamin water we made our way to the register. As I was paying I could see that he was in tears, so gracious and appreciative. What a beautiful moment that I will always remember.

Be kind to someone tomorrow without expecting anything in return. We never know the impact it will create.

Amen and goodnight.

Follow up from last post re: funny videos. Here’s an all time favorite from youtube.com

America’s Funniest Home Video- Goodies Galore Style.

 

Well Hello There!

Meet Tuesday, the new addition to our house. I think she can sense that I’m not a cat person.

 

 

 

 

I started this blog about three years ago and for the first 1.5 years I was pretty consistent with it.  It’s been about three months since I last blogged…….. what a dead beat. I’ve definitely had some things to share but the question of what’s appropriate always remains. Yes I know, many of the things I say are not exactly ‘lady like’, however I still struggle with certain topics. When I first started writing Goodies Galore, I didn’t really think about who was reading so I lacked a filter. Then Len and I split and for the first time I started writing in a censored way. After that, I had concerns about co-workers and clients reading my stuff. Writing became less fun because I felt stifled and was worried about being judged and/or hurting feelings. Part of having a blog is putting yourself out there, being vulnerable, and risking what comes along with that. That’s the place I’m trying to get back to.

 

Let’s laugh. One of the greatest pleasures in life is seeing people trip. Even better, trip then fall. (Don’t pretend you don’t find humor in this as well.) When I was younger, my father fell down the stairs stomach down and I swear, the length of his body took up the entire stairwell. I can remember running into my room as it happened because it was impossible not to laugh. The image still kills me to this day. In 7th grade, a classmate tipped over in her chair and farted at the same time. Priceless. Five years ago, Len tried to sneak up on me as I was getting washed up in the bathroom. As he was quietly tiptoeing in my direction, he stubbed his toe on a stair and starting hopping on one foot yelling “oww, oww, ow.”  Events like these play in my mind like a movie reel and will forever make me chuckle.

 

 

The bad news about finding joy in people’s embarrassment is that KARMA’S a bitch. Last week, I was walking down the hall at work and my ankle rolled. Before I knew it, I was going down in split position. (In a dress.) When my legs couldn’t spread any more, my back leg folded into itself and there I was on the floor- front leg out split style, back leg tucked under my butt. From there I toppled over onto my side like a floundering fish and was spotted by staff and a client. Despite their bulging eyes and concerned “Are you okay”, their facial expressions were all-too familiar and I just know they had a good laugh. As did I. If you can’t laugh at yourself in life, you’re screwed.

My weekend was spent with this little hooker.

 

Tell me a funny story. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sports Shmorts

So apparently there’s a big basketball game happening tonight..don’t ask me about it because I’m completely clueless as to what’s going on. Pretty sure I’m the only person in Boston who doesn’t give a crap about Boston sports. (Settle down all you die hards.) Now don’t get me wrong, I quite enjoy going to games. It just so happens that I go for a different reason than most…. to chit-chat, people watch and hang out with friends.

My girl Marisa invited me to the game last night. We had a great time but don’t ask me who they played or who won.  Pretty sure I looked at the field  just long enough to snap this picture….

Best. Game.Ever.

 

And no, I wasn’t hammered. Thanks Marisa!

I ate something wonderful today (for both lunch and dinner) but it’s not sitting well in my stomach. Perhaps I went a little overboard with the lentils. My company is in for a splendid surprise tonight.

 

That beautiful (yet gassy) creation is a portabella mushroom topped with lentils and cheese, baked in the over for half hour. Yum!!

It’s almost Friday people. Yay!!

 

jjioiou

Yep, I’m definitely white.

Yo! I hit up a Zumba class this morning at my gym and it reminded me of how little rhythm I have. Dancing is so sexy and I’d love to be able to shake my ass like they do in music videos. Only two problems: my ass is flat (thanks dad) and the only thing shaking is my muffin top. This white girl has no moves. My roommate and I decided to look into hip hop classes though so perhaps my moves will improve. We tried Salsa classes last year which were a total bust. It’s very hard remembering those moves, never mind doing them with grace.  Do you think people with no rhythm can learn how to dance or must there be an innate talent. (To be clear: When drinking, I’ve got moves like you read about. As evidenced below. No big deal.)

Something kinda cool about having a blog is that you’re able to see search terms– phrases people type in to find you. Every day there’s at least one funny one. Today was “bloated slug”. For some reason, vagina is a very common search term. So far this week we have: wet vagina, creme pie vagina, and  (best one yet) “my fingers were like popsicles by the end of it and my vagina was numb”. Now I know I say some dirty stuff, but that last one was a little over-the-top! Speaking of vagina, it’s Gay Pride Week here in Boston.

Off to the Sox Game!

What’s more exciting than rain and lentils?

Here we are… Monday again. It sure has been raining a lot these days. Luckily I don’t work till one o’clock so I’m blogging from my bed. Yes I know, it’s almost 11:00. Don’t judge. I’ve been studying for a certification (from my bed) so I’m not totally lazy.

As mentioned on Saturday, I’m working on eliminating sugar from my diet. My friend has had great success from the No Flour No Sugar diet so I’m giving that a whirl. So far so good. (Granted it’s only been two days but still.) Since I’m I’ll be at work for lunch and dinner, I basically pack a damn picnic.

 

Breakfast: coffee with cream.

Lunch: Quinoa salad with sun-dried tomatoes in oil, broccoli, kale.

Dinner: (I’m proud of this one.) Taco salad with lettuce, tomato, olives, blue cheese, lentils. taco shells and salsa/greek yogurt. YUUUUMMMM.

Snack: Apple.

I bought the pre-cooked lentils from Trader Joe’s yesterday. I cannot believe how much is in the package. It’s in the shape of a brick and jam-packed. It could serve as a weapon. Screw having mace or a bat by my bed, I’m keeping a package of lentils.

You could beat some ass with this bad boy

Time to motivate. Enjoy your day.

Has anyone tried No Flour No Sugar Diet?

When stalking comes easily.

Facebook can be a deadly invention when it comes to relationships. Facebook stalking is just too damn easy.  One click and you can analyze every picture, every “check in”, every stupid status update. (Don’t even TRY to pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about.) Having access to an ex’s site can leave you with a glorified version of his/her life. Let’s face it, no one is posting about how much it sucked going to bed with blue balls last night or “checking in” from the toilet with diarrhea and a sore asshole. Everything is rainbows and butterflies in Facebook Land. So what’s a girl to do? DE-FRIEND that sucker and save yourself the grief. It’s okay to cut the ties. It actually feels kind of liberating. But what’s more annoying than de-friending someone only to find out that their page is public!??? Come on man, help a sister out.

Speaking of stalkers… I may or many not have a stalker who’s an ex-client…and a sex-offender… Oy Vey. The good news is that he’s a skinny little thing and I’m pretty sure I can take him down if needed, unless of course he’s on the bath salts. Then I’m screwed.

In other news….  how cute is this damn dog?

Chomp Chomp

Off to run my first 5K!

Getting by with a little help….

Hey Everyone,

Wow, its been a long time. Can’t believe it’s actually freaking June. Where the hell does the time go? One year ago yesterday, I moved out of my place with Len and Ellie. (We broke up a few months before that but lived together till June.) Crazy to think how much has happened since that time. My life went from stable, consistent, and calm to wild and chaotic.

This pretty much sums it up.

My friends tell me that I should write a book because of the ridiculous experiences I’ve encountered since the breakup…  most of which are too inappropriate to disclose on this blog. Perhaps one day I’ll share. Despite the amazing and insane times, my mood continues to dip down into a funk at times. I never thought I’d still be going through periods of depression but I am. Last night my roommate and I established an action plan to get my ass in a better mental state.

Step 1: Be around people/animals/things that bring me joy. CHECK!

Look who’s staying for the weekend!

It’s a good thing she’s not covered in chocolate chips or I might just eat her up. I love this little rat.

Speaking of chocolate chips…

Step 2: STOP EATING MY FEELINGS!  I use food as a coping skill so it’s safe to say I’ve gained weight. It’s no surprise that baked goods are my go-to foods for comfort. (See below for the fat girl special.)

That right there is a triple chocolate brownie 

The reality is that sugar makes me feel like SHIT both physically and emotionally, which deepens the depression. Terrible cycle. So what’s a girl to do? JUST SAY NO to crack sugar. I have a dietary plan but I’m not going to share it until I’m confident in my ability to follow through.

Step 3: Talk to someone. 

I’m a therapist (How’d that happen???) so listening is more my strong suit. People talk to me about their struggles and I love it but it’s difficult for me to open up and be the talker. I’ve been isolating from friends and family which is very bad. (Here’s a tip: Don’t avoid family phone calls for weeks then randomly send a text to your dad stating “I kinda want to file bankruptcy then join the Peace Corps for two years. Thoughts? I’m serious.”  This won’t go over well.)

With a little push from a good friend, I booked a therapy appointment for myself.  (Do you guys remember when I went to Mimi? She was cool.) Therapy is a wonderful thing if you’re invested. Like many things in life, the more you put into it, the more you get out. I’ve been in and out of therapy since I was 16 years old (my parents thought I was an alcoholic; really I just got busted the 110 four times I went out drinking.) but I never really take it too seriously. This time around I’m going to try to be more open and honest. We’ll see how that goes.

STEP 4: WORKOUT.

Everyone knows that working out is AMAZING for both body and mind. Exercise has always been a form of medication for me. Running, in particular, has worked wonders for my mental state. Although I’ve been slacking in this department, the ball hasn’t dropped completely. Last week I ran alongside my good friend Ali, as she completed her first half marathon. I wasn’t signed up and I didn’t train, but I ran 11 miles with her for support. (I ate a block of cheese post race. Not good for the bowels.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some signs of depression include loss of interest and loss of motivation. It’s REALLY hard to get moving on some days (esp. today when it’s rainy and laying in bed sounds so much better) but ultimately I know that even the shortest bit of exercise will increase my mood.  Strapping on my sneaks is a MUST for me. Been thinking about signing up for a few races to keep the motivation flowing. We’ll see.

That pretty much sums up my action plan for now.

What did I forget? 

**I hope everyone is doing well! Happy Saturday.